Thankful to be me!!

Today I am thankful to be me!! I can't imagine wanting to be anyone else! I am proud of who I am now and who I am becoming! I have always struggled with my self-esteem, but lately I have found confidence in who I am. I am no longer afraid to be me. I may not be a size two model, a star in a movie, or the girl on the cover of a popular magazine, BUT I am ME, plain and simple and that is all that matters!! I am comfortable in my skin! I am finally happy with who I am. After struggling most of my life with self-esteem issues, I cannot tell you how liberating it is to finally be free from it! Don't get me wrong, I am sure I will have my struggles along the way, but not like I have had in the past, because I now I am beginning to see myself the way my Father in Heaven sees me. I am a daughter of a king, a princess, a child of God, and no one can take that from me!! I was born to do great things, and no one can stop me, because knowing who I am and where I come from gives me power that I cannot find anywhere else!


I maybe a girl who is crazy, out of control and full of emotion, but I am ME!!!

Marilyn Monroe says it best "Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it is better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring!"

Today is an UP day!

So, today was a typical monday...

From the minute I woke up I knew it was going to be one of those days... My day started with me waking up ten minutes before I had to be to my work meeting. After my meeting I remembered that today was the last day I could take my accounting test, so I went home to study, then when I was all ready for work, I looked outside and it was SNOWING!!! I was not really dressed for the weather, but I was running late, so.. I wore what I had on. Work wasn't too bad( other than I had to take down our stupid sign in the pouring rain) I studied for my test and got a lot of things done. Then after work I went to take my test feeling very confident that I knew the material and that I would do well, even during the test I felt good. But when the test was over and I saw my score, I wanted to cry!! I BOMBED it!! After all that work and all that effort, I felt like nothing had paid off and that studying wasn't worth it. I came home feeling very down on myself, hoping that my family would help cheer me up...

... and that they did. After a day that I was so ready to be done with, I thought I was just gonna go to bed feeling sorry for myself. But then my little sister changed my whole perspective. If you know my sister you know how positive and enthusiastic she is. We have a joke in my family that based on her mood she is either having an "up day" or a "down day," and when I got home from work she was off the wall hyper, laughing and giggling at nothing, definately having an "up day." It was her that made me realize that no matter what our day is like, or how things turn out, we are the ones who determine whether or not it will be an "up day." My little sister is not afraid to show how she really feels, and so you always know what kind of day she is having, but it is amazing to me that regardless of all the stress she has in her life, she can still have amazingly good days, and that she doesn't let things get her down. She is an amazing example to me of staying positive through stressful times. She reminds me every single day, that life is short and that we need to live it to the fullest!

So, today I start blogging about things I am thankful for, I start with my little sister Courtney... As you can tell, she means a lot to me and I don't know what I would do without her!! She really is one of my best friends. She knows best how to make me smile, and make me mad. She knows how to make me feel like a pretty cool older sister! She makes me look up to her more and more everyday!! She knows how to love more purely than a lot of people I know! She is so quick to forgive, and let people know that they are loved! She is such a good example to me, and I am SOOOOO very grateful for such an amazing little sister! She truly is a blessing to me!!

QUESTIONS!!

So I was tagged in a blog, and so I decided to play along :) If I tag you just answer the questions I post at the bottom!

1~What would your perfect day be like?
Hmm... My perfect day would consist of sleeping til about 8 or 9 and then getting up, working out, and getting ready for the day. Then I would spend the day with my family and friends, because no day is better spent than with family and friends. We would just relax and do whatever we wanted with no cares in the world. (I actually spent a day very close to perfect this last weekend at Bear Lake)

2~ What is your favorite reality TV show?
My favorite reality TV show is definitely Biggest Loser! I love, love, love that show! It is very few shows that actually help people change their life for the better. It's not about greed, or money(sort of is), but instead about health, and living the best life you can. They are helping people extend the length of their life. I love to watch it every week, and i will admit, it makes me cry!

3~If you could go back and give advice to your 16 year old self what would it be?
As much as I hate to admit this, I would say.... Listen to your parents!! I could have saved myself a lot of hurt, heartache and trials, if I would have just listened to them. They really do know what they are talking about. I would also say, not to forget about family. I wish I would have been a little more focused on them instead of my friends.

4~Post one of your favorite pictures and WHY is it your favorite?
I love this picture!! This picture is of me at one of my friend's wedding with her little brother. We were waiting for her to come out of the temple, and we were just talking and he randomly starts saying pick-up lines on me. It was so funny, I couldn't help but laugh. Right be for this picture, He said "So do you come here often?" and right before that he informed me that mine and his wedding would be next! ....He is 16, so I guess I have some waiting to do. :)

5~What is one thing that always makes you smile?
Lots of things make me smile, but something that always makes me smile, is hearing others laugh. I love the sound of laughter, and those who know me know that when others are laughing I can't help but laugh even if I have no clue why they are laughing. I know I am a dork.

6~What has been the happiest moment of your life so far?
Hmmm... that is a tough one, I would have to say it wasn't really a moment really but a short period of time, and it was when I discovered who I am as a person, and as a Daughter of God. I have always struggled with my self esteem so when I finally started to see who I really was, my whole outlook on life chaged.

7~What is one of the saddest or most heartbreaking moment of your life so far?
Another tough one. I would have to say though that it is seeing friends settle for things. I have seen too many people settling, because they are scared they will never find what they really want.

8~Whats your wish list for Santa this year?
I want others to be happy and to find the joys in life. I know Santa can't really bring it, but the true meaning of Christmas can :)

Finally A Break!

So after a few weeks of tons of stress and crappy things happening, I finally had a week that was more relaxed, one that wasn't as demanding on my time. It was actually an AMAZING week!!! I had so many cool experiences this week. Things that made my testimony so much stronger!!! This week was a week of confirmation and reassurance for me. There were things that I had been struggling with and trying to find answers to, and this week a lot of it came to me. It started with General Conference last Saturday. I was able to attend the Saturday morning session, which was awesome! The spirit was sooo strong. There were a couple talks that I felt were given just for me, they were very specific answers to questions I had. Next was a couple neat experiences with the Spirit bearing witness of the Truth! Things I already new but just confirming and reassuring my knowledge. Things that I hadn't ever questioned, but need just that extra strength in my testimony. There were many more experiences I had that were just too special to share on a blog. But things I will remember for the rest of my life. Things that I hold dear to my heart.

This week as I experienced these things, it reminded me how much our Heavenly Father loves us. And that most of the time he let's us suffer, before he blesses us, for us to prove to Him of our faithfulness, but He will ALWAYS bless us! He loves us more than we can comprehend, and wants the best for us. More so than any other person! He is our loving Father in Heaven. He created us in His image, He put much effort into creating each and every one of us, and loves us all individually. He loves us purely, and gets discouraged when we are down on ourselves. He sees us perfectly, He looks beyond our flaws and imperfections, and sees us as we truly are. HIS CHILDREN! As children of God we have so much potential! We have the potential to become Gods and Goddesses, Kings and Queens, Fathers and Mothers to our own eternal families! I cannot think of any greater potential we could have. We can have all this if we are faithful, and endure to the end. We can have all that the Father hath. Sometimes things don't go the way we planned, or the answers to our prayers are not what we wanted, but as we trust is the Lord, and follow the promptings of the Holy Ghost, we will be putting ourselves closer to that potential, and soon it will become more than our potential it will become our path way in life our destiny. We ALL have that potential, will we live up to that potential? We all can do it, even through the hard times, the Lord loves us and will help us every step of the way if we just ask. So don't let the rough weeks get you down... they will come and go, and you will make it through. :)

F.A.I.T.H

The last couple weeks have definitely been rough ones. Work + school + friends + not very much time = a very stressed Brianna. On top of all of this stress, I have been faced with some difficult trials. Things where I have had to search deep down, to find out who I really am, and who I want to become. While going through these trials, I found something that I wrote a few years ago in a journal of mine. Something that really helped me through. What I found was an acronym for the word faith that I came up with while in Young Woman's. We had discussed the value faith, and had been asked to write what it meant to us. I didn't write very much, but what I did write has been exactly what I needed these last few weeks. The acronym I came up with was this, Faith is...

Finding
An
Inner
sTrength in
Him.

When I read this I knew that if I had faith in my Savior, I also had the strength to get through my trials. Not only the trials I was, and am facing now, but everything that I will be faced with in the future. I have learned that the only way we receive true strength is through our Savior Jesus Christ. When we have faith in him, we are given the strength that we need to make it through this life. None of us can do it alone. Not one of us on this earth. We all need the love and mercy of our Savior in order to return and live with our Father in Heaven. This life is hard, we will be faced with things that will test our faith, and shake our testimonies, BUT if we have true faith, we will be blessed more than we can imagine. We will become closer with our Savior, and as we become closer to him and our loving Father in Heaven, we begin to see who we really are. We will begin to see ourselves as they see us. And when we know what are potential as children of God is, when we see ourselves as God does, that is true strength. Satan does not want us to see that, he does not want us to know our true potential, and he will do anything to try and stop us. So, when life gets tough, remember to have FAITH. It will give you the strength that you need to make it through.

Once Upon a time. . .and They Lived Happily Ever After!

Everyone has a story; each person's life could be written down and published like a book. I like to think of my story as a fairytale! It started with Once Upon a Time, and will end with and they lived happily ever after! My life is like the fairytales we all know. No I do not have a wicked step-mother, seven dwarfs, mice that do my cleaning, I don't live under the sea, I have never been on a flying carpet, and I have no fairy godmother. But I do have trials. of my own, I face setbacks every day of my life. Just like the princesses did in their stories. There is not one fairytale I know where the princess just had everything perfect. They all had things they had to face and over come before they reached their own happily ever after. As do we all! Cinderella, Jasmine, Belle, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, the Little Mermaid, they all had their problems and struggles, but the kept going, tried to be happy, and eventually the found their prince charming and lived happily ever after! That is how we have to be in our lives. When we face trials and difficult times we have to try and be happy, keep going, and the hard times will pass. I have a favorite quote that says, "Everything will be okay in the end, if it's not okay, It's not the end." Fairytales are known for their happy endings. The ... and they lived happily ever after. I bet if you were to ask Cinderella how things were playing out in her life in the middle of her story, she would probably be a little discouraged. Fairytales aren't happy all the way through, they don't go straight from once upon a time right to and they lived happily ever after, they have their rough times the times when they just want to give up and cry and call it quits. At the same time look how they all end. They all end happy, with them falling in love and riding of in to the sunset with their prince. It was okay all the way through, but in the end it was. That is what keeps me going, it's what keeps me writing my story. Even though it is hard now, and sometimes I want to cry and give up, knowing that it will all be okay in the end make me want to keep going.
We all have the opprotunity to have a happily ever after. No matter who we are we can all get through the struggles we face, find love, and with our prince charming live happily ever after. It is possible!

I know I probably sound like a hopeless romantic with this crazy view of love. But we a can all have our own fairytales, we can make life whatever story we want it to be, we just have to choose. Each of our lives has a beginning, a middle, and an end. Many times throughout our stories we will be faced with hard times, don't let it get you down. It will all be okay in the end!

Change...

So last night I attended a meeting where they combined our singles branch with another one from Syracuse to form a ward. We knew change was coming, and that this was probably going to be what happened but that didn't make it any easier. Our branch presidency was released, which is the hardest part of this change. We have had the best presidency, and we were all really close. With new boundaries in effect, we also will lose a few of our dearest friends. Last night was a tough night. Our branch didn't want to make this change. We wanted to keep things just the way they were. But this got me thinking.. Life is full of change, most of which we have no control over. Sometimes we like the changes that take place, but most of the time we don't. Change is good for us, it's healthy, and it keeps us on our toes. We can make the best of every change, if we go into it with a good attitude, and give it a try. I look back at the many times in my life that something changed that I wasn't happy about, and how more often than not, it ended up being a very good thing for me. Things turned out way better than I thought they ever would, and I met people I never would have met. Things happened in my life, that needed to happen, whether or not I wanted them to. We have a loving Father in Heaven, who knows what we need way more than we do. He can see how it will affect our future, where as we can only see how it effects the here and now. If we trust in the Lord, and have faith in His plan for us, and accept change with a good attitude, our lives will be blessed!

No change won't always go our way, and we probably won't like some aspect of it, BUT change is good for us. It provides us with learning experiences, and opportunities to get out of our comfort zone and become stronger, more knowledgeable people. Make the best of every change that comes your way, and you will be made a better person.

P.S. Although I am sad to see our old branch presidency go, and I will miss them tons and tons, I am very excited to get to know our new Bishop, Bishop Read and his counselors. They will do an amazing job.